Episode 6: Generosity
On this episode I thought it timely to discuss generosity, as it is the time of year for giving. Many of us enter this season with a certain amount of anxiety as we feel pressure to give thoughtful gifts to those we love. Often we may feel pressure to give to those who we feel are undeserving, and this adds to the seasons dread. Many of us look at this time of year with a certain level of disdain as we see unnecessary excess and waste along with the commercialization of these holidays. We may feel that the true spirit has been lost. This is unfortunate if it keeps us from giving. Being stingy with what we have closes us off and further strengthens our sense of separate self. Whereas giving opens up your heart as well as the heart of the receiver and a shared love is felt. To give is also to receive.
Before giving, it’s important that we stop to consider just how much we have been given in our lives, most of which goes unnoticed and therefore unacknowledged. We can hardly be grateful for something we are unaware of.
For many of us, it’s easier to give when we feel like we have a sense of security or safety. Often we lose our ability to see with proper perspective as we get lost in self interest and we forget just how much we have to be grateful for. Surely, there is always more to have but Lao Tzu gently reminds us, “if you realize you have enough, then you are truly rich”.
Just for a moment, let’s shine a light on all we’ve been given, so that we might learn to give of that which has been given to us. It is always easier to give when you have been given so much. So in a way, giving thanks before we give can orient our minds so that we can give in gratitude.
We were each given the chance to live and our survival depended on the generosity of others and nature. Can we even begin to fathom how many moments converged in history to bring us here now? Picture your parents at the hospital awaiting your arrival. Two things came together some months ago which made this moment possible. A seed was planted in fertile ground and something began to develop, but this is only a piece of the story of your existence. This is not the beginning of your life. Your parents were also brought into the world in a similar way, as was the doctor who aided in your birth, the farmer which provided you food and so on for countless generations.
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There is a million year legacy upon which we stand. We can dig in to every detail of our lives and find that we do not and can not exist or thrive on our own. We are indebted to everyone and everything around us. The entire universe supports our existence. That is just humbling. If one condition were off just a fraction, we’d be gone. There is sun, water and earth which provides the air we breathe and the food that we eat. But never one without the other. All things must exist for this one thing to exist. Take away water and what’s left? Take away air, what’s left? Take away the sun, what’s left? Gifts, all of them.
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Likewise, if we are very fortunate or rich, we have little ownership of that bounty. We owe gratitude to conditions and people which are currently present that allows this abundance to flow. We can hardly claim authorship or ultimate control of our own minds, because we simply have the mind that we’ve been born with, just as we were born with a body not of our choosing. We can do things to improve, sharpen, strengthen or even weaken our minds and our bodies, but those ideas stem from the very mind which was given to you.
If we look deeply we see that there is not a single thing we can wholly take credit for or be proud of. We are who we are, and we didn’t choose any of it. We are simply given everything we have, then it’s up to us to decide what to do with these precious gifts.
There are many ways to give. We can give our money or resources, check givewell.org. We can give our time and energy by volunteering at an animal shelter or food kitchen. We can give wisdom and knowledge when the occasion permits. We can give our love and full attention to all who enter our orbit. We can give ourselves, our presence.
Of all that we can give, perhaps forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts. We can give it to ourselves and to others. Forgiveness is liberating and truly heroic. As Jack Kornfield says, “Forgiveness enables us to be released of the sorrows of the past.” We’ll dig deeper into this another time because I feel it’s a really important, if not difficult, concept to grasp and put into practice.
We can all find something to give, especially when we begin to see that we are but a thread in the whole fabric of life and that generosity is how we all survive. And that what we give is never gone. The sun freely gives it’s light and heat, the earth freely gives its foundation upon which we stand and gives nourishment to our bodies. The air gives us breath and rain. All given freely.
Next time you eat your favorite food, consider exactly how it landed upon your plate. Consider the sun, the air, the water, the hands that cultivated and prepared it, it’s transportation. Contemplate all of the existing necessary knowledge and conditions which brought this to you now, it’s truly astonishing. Next time you have a brilliant idea, ask yourself where it came from. Be mindful of the complexity of the fabric, enjoy its patterns. Be amazed by it. Let it humble you. Much of it came to you with little to no effort on your part.
If we to give freely, that is - with the right spirit, we will never again be let down when the giving is not reciprocated. If we give well, we will have already received much more than we gave. To give is to receive, but this is not the case if the giving was carried out with an expectation to receive. To give well is to give with your whole heart. This is true generosity.
You can inspire others to give when you give. It was only after hearing about the charitable acts of others that I began to seek out people, organizations and charities I should give to. Don’t hide your light, yet be careful that you inform to inspire not to increase your sense of self, your ego. Let a piece of your self go with each gift. This year, remember all you’ve been given and give with love.
From time to time, I’d like to include reviews or recommendations at the end here - things that I’ve enjoyed or have been inspired by. For the past several weeks, I’ve been listening, on repeat, to the audiobook version of The Art of Living by Thich Nhat Hanh. It is one of the most accessible, friendly, and loving books on mindfulness I’ve read or listened to. He has a gentle way of distilling hard to understand concepts down to their basics. He shows us how to apply the insights of the Buddha into our modern lives. As I am still on this path of seeking wisdom and understanding, I have been inspired by his life. I was also made aware of the Plum Village Monastery in France, which he co-founded. They have an incredible app which I greatly recommend, called Plum Village where you will find guided meditations, discourses, soothing recordings of nature, even mindful movement videos. I love the “Bell of Mindfulness” feature which allows your phone to chime at a specified time of day. The app is free to use. But I encourage you to donate, as they are wholly reliant on the generosity of others to continue their important work. It is the season for giving after all.
May we all give well. This season and all seasons to come.