Episode 7: Loving Life
Our lives can seem very short and temporary. This can cause us to use this limited time selfishly if we are not mindful. We can find ourselves seeking self satisfaction no matter the cost to others or to our environment forgetting that we are interconnected and that our decisions carry with them consequences, many of them unseen. Often we spend a great deal of this short time anxiously seeking out temporary pleasures while neglecting our lives here and now. We see the date on our birth certificates and expect that we’ll live an average lifespan. We tend to see birth as a beginning and death as an end. As with all things, both of these states are transitional and temporary. We constantly see in nature that death makes way for birth. Beauty springs up from dirt.
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We are blossoms, breaking from the bud at birth, bringing joy and love with us, yet having to endure the conditions of this existence, just like the flower. Contained within the flower is a seed, which can also become a flower once the conditions are right. The seed itself cannot produce another flower. The seed needs earth, water and sun. Every flower is a continuation of the flower that came before it. Just like the flower, we are the result of countless cycles of birth. Contained within us is a piece of every past seed of our entire lineage. We are not one life cycle, we are the continuation of life. We are the continuation of our parents and their parents and their parents parents, ad infinitum. We are not merely the biological continuation of them, the seed and fertile ground. We are also the result of every influence which act as nourishment, and every decision every past being has made to ensure their survival and make our existence possible.
Everything has consequences. One thing always leads to another. It’s important that we keep this mental orientation close, as we’ll naturally want to take action for the benefit of all that we rely on for our own survival. In this way, protecting another is protecting ourselves. We will be more kind, and more understanding. We will be less destructive to ourselves, others, and our home. We will begin to see that our lives don’t begin and end with birth and death, but that we continue to live through our children and through the energy of our influence. Our lives will continue after our bodies are gone, inside the bodies and minds of others. In this life, we have the opportunity to decide if our lives will be for the benefit of other beings or not. Our bodies belong to the earth, the earth belongs to our children, to all children. How will we leave it for them? How will we leave them in it? If eternal life is what we seek, we should do what we can to ensure that our life’s continuation has a chance to continue well into the future. This means being mindful in everything we do. This is not a constriction of freedom, it is freedom itself.
When we are mindful, we’re no longer the prisoner of our thoughts and our emotions. We are no longer swayed by popular opinion or trapped by clever marketing schemes. We see clearly when we investigate the motivational force behind what’s happening in the mind. This clarity allows us to navigate life’s beautiful and challenging experiences with equanimity; an unshakable balance of mind. When we can live with the understanding that that which we call bad or good, may only be true from our limited, yet ever changing viewpoint (perspective).
We often get stuck in the forrest and can’t see where we are until we climb a hill or mountain and see an intricate landscape. From this vantage point we’ll begin enjoying all that comes our way knowing that everything is impermanent. This fact that everything changes is what makes all things possible. This is life itself and it is what makes life so incredible. Think about all these moments of transition which make life wonderful. A beautiful sunset, a child’s first steps, a blooming flower. All of these things are natural progressions which signify change. Each one of these changes opens up fresh new possibilities.
Understanding impermanence can also lead to increased compassion and understanding. A few days ago, there was a moment, a feature in the Waking Up app, in which Sam Harris points out the fact that everyone you know, everyone you see, will at some point lose everything which they have held dear. Yet, it’s up to us to make the most of this time, to make it beautiful. Knowing this fact, why would we want to be anything but kind? We can see that if we keep this perspective and live with this understanding, we will begin to treat others around us with increased love and compassion. We will begin to understand that our time is short, our time with another person is short, but that the way in which we act has an impact beyond our understanding. How many people have briefly entered our lives, yet made a difference for better or for worse? The energy we put out into the world will continue.
They say that a smile is contagious, yet it is true that a frown is as well. We can really be the change we want to see in the world as we begin to embody the change we wish to see. Even as we suffer, we can know that this suffering is only temporary, and that through this suffering is the way to happiness. This is life. Suffering is what happiness stands in contrast to. Without one, we could not experience the other. Just as light needs darkness. It is simply untrue that everlasting happiness can exist. We all know this because it’s been our life experience. Yet we continue to seek it one experience after another. We think, “that last thing wasn’t quite it, maybe it’s this next thing over here.” And that may be true for a time, but there is always something else, something we don’t have that we convince ourselves is the missing piece to our continued happiness.
At times we can be like children obsessing over the latest toy, forgetting every toy which has preceded it, forgetting that this toy will surely go the way of every other past toy; that is fun for a time, until it breaks, wears down, or more often than not, we lose interest and another toy enters our consciousness and promises to finally make us happy. It is quite okay to seek, and to find and to enjoy the things of this world. What is more important is that we ask ourselves “what is the motivational force behind our seeking and wanting?”. We can escape the emotional roller coaster as we ease our attachments to our ideas, our ideals, our belongings, and our relationships. We can set them all free when we fully embrace that the whole of life is being lived when we experience pleasure AND pain, joy AND sorrow, loss AND gain. This is what makes life wonderful! We have been blessed with things or abilities, then we lose them and gain a greater appreciation for having had them in the first place. Yet that loss will uncover our attachments to those things. If we lose things and become overly depressed, we will see the extent to which we are attached to that object, concept, or person. However, if we can live in gratitude for everything we have, while simultaneously understanding it’s unknown shelf life, we will not only live with greater appreciation, but we will be better prepared for times of loss because we know that everything changes, everything is impermanent, which makes everything possible. This, if fully embraced, is the great truth of life. It is what makes life possible. Our lives are going through these changes constantly and it is life itself. Embrace whatever presents itself for it is life. In a cosmic and historic sense, our lives are tiny and rare. Precious. If we fight against our suffering, our loss, we are fighting against half of life, this half makes way for the other half, which is enjoyment and happiness.
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Love life, all of it. Don’t get too attached to however you may feel at this moment, it will change. It is this understanding which will naturally lead you to a place of peace within your own life. This peace will naturally spread to everything and everyone around you. Your peace is another’s peace, your happiness is another’s happiness. We need learn to love this life, all of it, and take it for granted no longer. Remember:
“You already are what you want to become. You are a marvel, you are a wonder.” -Thich Nhat Hanh