Episode 11: The Big Dance
Apparently, I’m the last person on earth to study Alan Watts.
Over the last few months I’ve been slowly reading his books and contemplating his talks and I have learned so much that I’d love to share. First I will say this, if you have not heard of him, or have not listened to him or read him in a long time, I recommend getting his voice in your ear again, or for the first time. Over the years I’ve seen his words referenced many times in the books and writings of others, or even as the disembodied conscious character in the film Her, but I had never taken the time to look him up or learn about him until this year when Sam Harris released somewhere around 200 hours of his talks and lectures on the Waking Up app. My immediate thought upon hearing him was a sort of internal self rebuke “what took you so long!?” “Why do you not know about this man!?” Reading him is one thing, certainly enlightening. But hearing him is another thing altogether.
Many voices and teachers have resonated with me over the years, but nothing like this. His words penetrate my being. He has a special gift of taking bits of wisdom and putting it in such a way that gives rise to greater understanding, not just of the mind, but I feel it in my body, which isn’t even quite accurate. I feel it beyond my body. Whenever I begin to ask myself “why haven’t I…” or “where have I been?” I soon remind myself that this is the beauty of the path, the gradual unfolding, things come into our lives the moment they are supposed to. Though many times we don’t see the sign posts. So yes, I may be one of the last persons on the planet to learn and appreciate someone or something, but that is because I wasn’t quite ready beforehand. Who knows how his words would have landed within me years ago? There’s just no telling and no real sense in asking the question. What makes this wonderful is that it’s happening now, and the impact is massive. So here you are listening to this, and I’m bringing Alan Watts into, or back into, your awareness. What will you do with it? Will you see the sign post?
Today I’ll be talking about a few of his ideas, but I urge you to check out some of his talks on your own. Like I said, the Waking Up app has hours and hours of his talks all broken up into topics and they’re all right there, just a touch away, no ads, no distractions. I know I bring this app up a lot and that’s because along with ever changing daily guided meditations, it’s also a beautifully curated resource of incredible teachers, insights, discussions and meditations. Yes, it is a paid app on the surface, and well worth the money, but it can also be free if you simply send them an email and explain that you are unable to pay, for whatever reason. It’s basically a pay what you can type of a structure. No ads, no b/s. This app is a great way to get into the teachings of Alan Watts, all in one place, in his own words, in his own voice. You can also find many of his talks on YouTube, which I also recommend, yet not quite as easy as the app to navigate. Some of the YouTube talks have footage of Mr. Watts which was recorded during the time of his life. It is really cool to see and hear him. And of course he has a number of excellent books available which I also recommend. However, there are some people who, with their own voice, add another dimension to their teachings and he is certainly one of those people. So if my words move you to hear his words, my job is done. If not, then it’s not yet your time and that is okay. I, myself, heard his name time and time again before I took the plunge and in such a short time he’s become one of my greatest teachers. I love having his voice with me, anytime, anywhere, at the click of a virtual button.
Alan Watts has an analogy to life, or of living life rather, to that of dancing or playing music. He jokingly and rhetorically points out that the purpose of music is not the end of a composition. If it were, he says, the best composers would be the ones who played the fastest, who arrived at the end the quickest. We don’t go to a concert to see one final crescendo, one final crashing note. We enjoy the play of the music as it goes along. Likewise when we dance, the purpose is not to arrive at some specified point on the floor. The point of dancing is to dance. Life therefore is a playing of the music, the dancing the dance, and there is no point on the dance floor upon which we are supposed to arrive.
As we go through, or about, our lives though we are constantly told that there IS some place where we are to finally arrive. Yet we never make it there, or when we think we do, it is not quite what we thought it would be. Take a promotion in your career for example. How many promotions or raises have you been granted? Which one was THE one? Will it be the next one? Will the next raise finally make you happy? The one promotion to end all promotions?
How often have we attained that which we have worked so hard for only to learn that that which we were striving for was an illusion, which we mistook for a mark of success? How often have we moved the goal posts because we then think that our success or joy must then be found in the next thing? Don’t get me wrong here, there is something to say for achieving a goal, there is certainly a sense of satisfaction in that. But it is important to understand the point of a goal and that the goal is not the point. What is the motivational force behind your desire? Is the effort worth the payoff? Is it to boost the ego? To help others? Is the goal simply the attainment of material wealth or an object of desire? When will enough be enough for us? Are we still attempting to arrive somewhere, striving for that final, yet ever elusive spot on the dance floor?
Quite often we believe that our happiness or contentment is somewhere outside of ourselves. That it is something we must work for, earnestly, and earn. But the fact is that if we believe that the point of living is to be attained through our achieving, we will miss out on happiness. We will miss the entire point of life. Enjoyment is found in the now, in being present in whatever we are doing, not in the attaining. If we don’t recognize our capacity to enjoy life here and now, as it unfolds, we’ll be sitting in front of the stereo, pushing fast forward through the soundtrack of our lives, so that we can finally make it to the end of each song in order to see what song comes next, then usually pushing fast forward again the moment the next song begins. We miss the music altogether when we live in this way. We miss what makes life amazing. We enjoy the music as it unfolds. We delight in the game as it’s being played. We need to learn to appreciate and to dig into the struggles and sorrows that life offers, rather than just endure them, for what would life be without them? What fun would it be if we could just do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted? We thrive when we face the unknown. These are the teaching moments, when we find the edge of our comforts and our abilities and learn to embrace and overcome them. When the dance becomes seemingly impossible and we become almost paralyzed by fear not knowing which foot to place where or when, this is when we grow, this is what makes life interesting and memorable. We rarely commit to memory that which has been easy, simple, or mundane. Nor do we learn from these states. We don’t develop wisdom or compassion either. When we go through our own turmoil, we can better relate to others in similar situations. We can gain wisdom and insight as we learn to go with the flow. As Alan Watts says, we are all in the River and it is flowing wether or not we are aware of it or whether or not we want it to flow. The flow of the river, of life, has its own purpose and it’s a purpose we don’t know. We can learn to go with the flow, and sometimes this means that we’ll be beaten against sharp rocks and fallen trees or sometimes dragged along muddy banks. But it also means that we might get stuck in natural eddies for a swirl or enjoy the steady flow some distance under the water’s surface. This is the flow of life and no two are ever the same. Not a single molecule of water will duplicate the path of another. Just as a piece of music will never be duplicated exactly. Even if recorded. The sound waves will vary depending on the environment in which it is played and in who’s ears it will reach and when. We can never hear something for the first time twice. Nor will someone else hear it just as we do. We’ll bring different ears to it. In life, we cannot control the path or the flow of the river. We cannot look at another’s life with want or envy and attempt to achieve the same by following their path. It just doesn’t work that way and it’s not possible. We must recognize and follow the flow of our own lives and know that this is for us alone. This is what makes us unique and special, when we can see that our path, or current is ours alone. Yet all of our paths are part of the same flowing river, the same piece of music, in which we all take part simultaneously. Fighting this flow or swimming against the current of the sometimes rushing river keeps us from naturally learning the lessons of life. Not to mention it takes considerable effort to fight against the inevitable or what already is. We’re often tempted to cling to an overhanging branch once we’ve arrived at a particularly rough part of the river, not believing that we have the skills, strength or ability to make it through the upcoming rapids without drowning. This is a natural resistance, one to protect our safety, but we must recognize these moments when they arise for there is no guarantee that you’ll end up slamming against the rocks, you may just as easily end up slipping below the greatest turmoil. This clinging out of fear to losing that which we know, or have, is a lack of faith. It is a lack of trust in the flow of life. As if life could ever present you with a superfluous or insurmountable obstacle. It’s whole purpose is to flow and to bring you along for the ride. We have to learn to “ride the waves” as they say. Only a man made dam will keep the river from flowing and the stink of stagnation will soon follow. Eventually though, the water will overcome the obstacle, for it must flow. When we do find ourselves stuck behind such a dam, we need to figure out wether this is a naturally occurring eddy or if it is a self made obstacle. Did we push pause on the music? Perhaps to make this particular note last forever, or because we don’t want to see the other side of the crescendo? Have our legs frozen on the dance floor because we’re being compelled to alter the dance that we already know? Are we needlessly burning energy fighting against what is, rather than submitting to the sometimes relentless flow of life? Are we enjoying the dance, regardless of our partner, or situation, our status, or income? Are we waiting to become happy or to enjoy life until we attain our goals or objectives? There is nothing wrong with ambition or plans or goals unless they are used as a target to hit first before we allow ourselves to be present now. Are we going to miss out on the big dance because we are afraid to step onto the dance floor until we become perfect dancers? I’m sorry to say, but if we wait for that moment, our music will end long before we take that first step.